Research Citations:

Marin, R.A., Christensen, A., & Atkins, D.C. (2014). "Infidelity and behavioral couple

therapy: Relationship outcomes over 5 years following therapy." Couple and Family

Psychology: Research and Practice, 3, 1-12.

uri, M., et al. (2025). "Romantic jealousy and subjective ambivalence in close

relationships." Emotion, American Psychological Association.

American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, 2012 reconciliation outcomes

survey.

Gordon, K.C., Baucom, D.H., & Snyder, D.K. (2004). "An integrative intervention for

promoting recovery from extramarital affairs." Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.

Musical Arrangement by Wes Kilgore

Research Citations:

U.S. Surgeon General's Advisory, "Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation" (2023).

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Harvard Study of Adult Development. Robert Waldinger & Marc Schulz, The Good Life:

Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (2023).

HHS Office of the Surgeon General, Framework for a National Strategy to Advance

Social Connection (2023).

Song Featured:

"Golden" by Jill Scott

Links:

Apply: candiceharperlovecoach.com/grown-liberated-love

Hashtags: #younotstayingalone #grownandliberatedlove #divineequalmatch

#quantitydownqualityup #datingcoach #relationshipcoach #blackwomeninlove #blacklove

#lovecoach #jillscott #golden #podcastsoul-vs-conditioning filter. 

that relationship is the blueprint your nervous system is still using to decide whether love is

safe. In this episode, Candice breaks down the signs of an unhealed mommy wound, the 10

signs you're healing from it, what the research says about how maternal attachment shapes

adult romantic relationships, and how to use your single season as preparation for all of your desires. Plus, a deep dive into Jill Scott's "Prepared" and why the work we do is never for

him, its always for us.

Key Takeaways:

• The mommy wound shows up as hyper-control, performative nurturing, emotional guardedness, and dysfunctional dude-chasing
• Research (Dugan & Fraley, 2024) shows maternal relationships predict adult attachment styles across ALL relationships
• 10 signs you're healing: from releasing control to trusting love you didnt have to earn. 
• Your single season is not a waiting room
• The growth we do is not FOR a man, its for you to experience your full humanity with self-expression and joy
• Relationship quality and adult attachment styles. Reported in Scientific American.
• "Influence of Family of Origin and Adult Romantic Partners on Romantic AttachmentSecurity." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
• Book Recommendation: Salvation by bell hooks

Song Featured:

"Prepared" by Jill Scott

Links:

Apply: candiceharperlovecoach.com/grown-liberated-love

Hack the Dating Apps Digital Course: https://candiceharperlovecoach.com/hack-the-dating-apps2

Hashtags: #mommyissues #healingjourney #divineequalmatch #grownandliberatedlove

#jillscott #prepared

The patriarchy doesn't only hurt women... it destroys men's ability to have healthy, loving

relationships. In this episode, Candice counts down the Top 10 most destructive things the

patriarchy teaches men, from equating strength with emotional numbness to reducing their

value to a paycheck. 

Then she breaks down who a self-loving woman needs to be in order to

bypass the patriarchy-addled men and experience real love. No spoilers, you're gonna love it.  

Plus, in the "Gurl, What Chu Going Through?" segment, a deep dive into Lion Babe's song "Wonder Woman" and her way of de-centering patriarchal men.

Key Takeaways:

The patriarchy programs men to be bosses instead of partners, performers instead of

lovers, and providers instead of present.

Men's emotional suppression is not a personality trait, it's conditioning, and it directly

destroys relationship intimacy.

You don't have to fix what the patriarchy broke, just boycott its

rules.

Links:

Apply for a consultation: candiceharperlovecoach.com/grown-liberated-love

Research Cited:

American Psychological Association (2018). "Guidelines for Psychological Practice

with Boys and Men."

Parent, M.C. & Moradi, B. (2009, 2011). Research on the Conformity to Masculine

Norms Inventory (CMNI-46) identifying the toxic triad of Winning, Power Over Women,

and Heterosexual Self-Presentation.

Cole, B.P. et al. Research on traditional gender roles, emotional intimacy, and sexual

satisfaction. Archives of Sexual Behavior.

Pleck, J. (1981). The Myth of Masculinity. Gender role strain theory.

Music Arrangement: Wes Kilgore

Swiped Left On Might Be Your Divine Equal Match

Wanna stop letting fine-ness ruin your love life? In this episode, Candice breaks down the psychology

of physical attraction, why your obsession with a man's looks might be sabotaging your

chances at real love, and how the man you almost dismissed could become the most

attractive person you've ever known. 

Plus, she gets into the science of the Halo Effect, the Mere-Exposure Effect, and why your animal brain has you worried about jawlines when you should be worried about character. 

And in "Gurl, What Chu Going Through?" -- Lizzo's

"Jerome" and the revolutionary act of telling a pretty face to take his ass home.

Key Takeaways:

*The Halo Effect causes us to assign positive traits to attractive people who may not

possess them

*The Mere-Exposure Effect proves attraction develops over time with consistent

interaction

*Six signs you're compromising your values for physical attraction

*Seven practices of women who built healthy relationships by expanding their definition

of attractive

*Your animal brain wants good genes -- your adult brain needs a good partner

Links:

*Apply for a consultation: https://candiceharperlovecoach.com/grown-liberated-love

Research Cited:

Dion, K., Berscheid, E., & Walster, E. (1972). "What is beautiful is good." Journal of

Personality and Social Psychology, 24(3), 285-290.

Zajonc, R. (1968). "Attitudinal effects of mere exposure." Journal of Personality and

Social Psychology, 9(2), 1-27.

Kelly, A.J., Dubbs, S.L., & Barlow, F.K. (2016). "An Evolutionary Perspective on Mate

Rejection." Evolutionary Psychology, 14(4).

MacDonald, G. et al. (2015). Research on romantic rejection and distancing from

unattractive suitors. University of Toronto.

Moreland, R.L. & Beach, S.R. (1992). "Exposure effects in the classroom." Journal of

Experimental Social Psychology, 28(3), 255-276.

Song Featured:

"Jerome" by Lizzo (2019) -- Cuz I Love You

Hashtags: #datinglife #grownandsexy #relationshipcoach #divineequalmatch

#grownandliberatedlove #howcuteturnsugly

stories where "This Ain't Build-A-Bear" was the unofficial motto, breaks down the psychology

behind why powerful women become Builders in their relationships, and teaches you how to

recognize real potential versus someone who just needs a lot of fixing and finishing. Plus, a

deep dive into Lauryn Hill's "Ex-Factor" and why this song is the anthem of every woman who

has ever loved a "construction project" man more than she loved herself.

Key Takeaways:

• The Karpman Drama Triangle explains why Rescuers attract victims.
• Six signs you have Build-A-Bear mentality in your dating life
• Seven markers of real, investable potential versus someone who needs to be built from scratch
• Why different money values can reveal whether you're growing together or dragging someone through your vision
• The difference between a partner and a passenger

Links:

Apply for a consultation: candiceharperlovecoach.com/grown-liberated-love

Research Cited:

Karpman, S. (1968). "Fairy tales and script drama analysis." Transactional Analysis

Bulletin, 7, 39-43.

Lac, A. & Donaldson, C.D. (2020). "Development and Validation of the Drama

Triangle Scale: Are You a Victim, Rescuer, or Persecutor?" Journal of Interpersonal

Violence, 37(7-8).

Draucker, C.B. et al. (2019). "Emerging Adult Women's Views-of-Self in Intimate

Partner Relationships that are Troubled." Issues in Mental Health Nursing, 40(4).

Song Featured:

"Ex-Factor" by Lauryn Hill (1998) - The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill

Hashtags: #datinglife #grownandsexy #relationshipcoach #divineequalmatch

#grownandliberatedlove #thisaintbuildabear

Theme Music Arranged by Wes Kilgore

In this episode, Candice shares personal stories about what she learned from the women around her exes, discusses research on family-of-origin attachment patterns, and breaks down green flags appreciate. Plus, a deep dive into Toni Braxton's "He Wasn't Man Enough For Me" and why listening to women about your man matters.

Key Takeaways:

• Research shows family relationships predict romantic relationship patterns
• Different women in his life offer different types of information
• Look out for mothers who make excuses, sisters who are sabotaging, and exes who are described as "crazy"
• Green flags include accountability, healthy co-parenting, and consistent stories about who he is.
• The goal is to be an ally, not a competitor, with the women around him

Links:

• Apply for a consultation: candiceharperlovecoach.com/grown-liberated-love

Research Cited:

• "Influence of Family of Origin and Adult Romantic Partners on Romantic Attachment Security" Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
• "Family-of-origin, romantic attachment, and marital adjustment" Procedia, Social and Behavioral Sciences
• Dr. John Gottman's research on marriage success and power-sharing

Song Featured:

• "He Wasn't Man Enough" by Toni Braxton (2000)

  - Album: *The Heat*

  - Produced by: Rodney "Darkchild" Jerkins

  - Grammy Award: Best Female R&B Vocal Performance (2001)

Hashtags: #datinglife #grownandsexy #relationshipcoach #divineequalmatch #grownandliberatedlove

This week on The Grown & Liberated Love Club, we're going somewhere uncomfortable. We're connecting the dots between patriarchy, purity culture, sexual shame, and sexually transmitted infections.

In this episode, you'll learn: Why purity pledges actually INCREASE STI risk (the research will shock you) The 3 ways patriarchy creates sexual shame that silences women Two client stories that will make you rethink everything you thought about "risky behavior" 7 beliefs that can protect your body, your heart, and your worth Why your Divine Equal Match can have grown conversations about sexual health

Then in Segment 2, we're breaking down Aaliyah's "The One I Gave My Heart To" so you can bop along and still thrive. 

This episode is for you if you've ever silenced your instincts because you were taught "good girls don't ask questions." If shame has ever kept you from protecting yourself. If you're ready to believe that you deserve pleasure AND protection.

Ready to heal the shame? Apply for a consultation at candiceharperlovecoach.com/grown-liberated-love

Subscribe. Share. And never take relationship advice from joyless people.

Theme Arrangement by Wes Kilgore

STUDIES & SOURCES CITED:

1. University of Massachusetts Amherst (2016) Sexually active teenage girls who pledged abstinence for religious reasons were at higher risk of HPV and unplanned pregnancy
2. Kansas State University Over 70% of newlywed Southern Baptist couples had sex before marriage despite purity pledges
3. CDC Data Young people ages 15-24 account for nearly half of 20 million new STI cases annually; 1 in 4 college students has an STI
4. PMC/NIH Research on Gender and STI Transmission Women have higher biological vulnerability; male-to-female herpes transmission is 19% vs. 5% female-to-male; gonorrhea transmission 60-90% male-to-female vs. 20-30% female-to-male
5. NIH Research on Patriarchy and STI Prevalence Patriarchy increases STI prevalence through impaired negotiation power, double standards and stigma, and the double bind of responsibility without power
6. Sheila Wray Gregoire Study (2021) 22.6% of women raised in purity culture reported vaginismus or primary sexual dysfunction
7. Journal of the American Sexually Transmitted Diseases Association Only 7% of male college students reported STI testing in 12 months vs. 20% of female students

This week on The Grown & Liberated Love Podcast, Candice Harper breaks down why smart, successful women keep ending up in relationships that don't serve them, and why it's not a character flaw. It's a setup.

Inspired by a raw conversation in an online community where a woman asked whether it's "insecurity" that makes her jealous of her husband's inappropriate relationship with another woman, Candice explores why we often resist dropping our sabotaging patterns.

In this episode, you'll discover the 5 reasons your heart may have been broken in the past From having no model of healthy love, to being a "good girl" who followed the rules, to marrying the man who checked achievement boxes but couldn't meet your soul. No blame. No shame. Just clarity on why love hasn't worked YET.

Then Candice reveals the 5 markers of a Divine Equal Match relationship, including deep friendship that honors who you are, the ability to discuss anything without resentment or danger, and the experience of love that predates patriarchal hierarchies and usury prison marriages.

This week's "Gurl, What You Goin' Thru?" song: Tamia's 2000 hit "Stranger in My House" is a gut-wrenching anthem about waking up next to someone you no longer recognize. Candice unpacks what this experience does to your nervous system, your ability to trust, and how to heal so you never feel like a stranger is lying next to you again.

If you've been blaming yourself for love not working, this episode is your permission slip to stop. You weren't broken. You were set up to struggle. And now? You're ready to win.

Music Arrangement: Wes Kilgore

Ready to stop the cycle and attract your Divine Equal Match? Apply for a consultation: https://candiceharperlovecoach.com/grown-liberated-love

No ma'am.

This week on The Grown & Liberated Love Club, we're unpacking the "male loneliness epidemic and why the internet's proposed solution (more patriarchy, more submission, more women shrinking) is actually the problem dressed in a new outfit.

Find out why men are mad at Lisa Raye and how Jill Scotts new song on her newly release album Be Great is this black womans life anthem. 

Ready to stop settling? Apply for a consultation at candiceharperlovecoach.com/grown-liberated-love

Subscribe. Share. And never take relationship advice from joyless people.

Theme Arrangement by Wes Kilgore

Studies Cited:

1. Pew Research Center (2019, 2022) - 61% of single men vs. 38% of single women seeking relationships
2. Wall Street Journal (2025) - 34% of single women vs. 54% of single men looking for romance
3. Yale Study, Journal of Family Issues (2024) - Only 25% of once-married women seek romance; lonely single men want relationships more than lonely single women
4. Journal of Marriage and Family - "Synthetic Spouse" study showing women would need men earning 55% more than available men actually make
5. American Sociological Review (2019) - Women perform significantly more cognitive household labor
6. Sex Roles (2019) Women with higher cognitive labor report more stress, anxiety, and depression
7. American Institute for Boys and Men - Men rely more heavily on romantic relationships for emotional support and to facilitate friendship
8. American Survey Center (2021) - 15% of men have no close friends, up 12% since 1990

If you're a high-achieving woman who's been told that "a man who doesn't pay isn't serious"... this episode is about to shift everything.

Today we're breaking down why "Did he pay?" is the wrong question and what you should actually be paying attention to instead.

In this episode, you'll learn:

Why making "he pays" a rigid rule is keeping you from seeing who's actually in front of you How to heal your own emotional ties to money and worth so his wallet doesn't determine your value The 5 behaviors to practice instead of treating the check like a test How to have the money conversation like a grown woman and why his response tells you more than whether he reaches for his card

Then in Segment 2, we're breaking down J-Lo's iconic "Love Don't Cost A Thing. We're unpacking the lyrics and reclaiming what it actually means to be a woman whose love can't be bought.

This episode is for you if you're tired of following dating rules that weren't made for you. If you want to stop performing "high value" and start actually assessing compatibility. If you're ready to approach dating like the Grown and Liberated woman you are.

No fluff. No feminine energy gimmicks. Just real talk for powerful women who want real love.

Subscribe and follow The Grown & Liberated Love Club For more on attracting your Divine Equal Match without shrinking, shapeshifting, or settling: candiceharperlovecoach.com/grown-liberated-love

Theme Arrangement by Wes Kilgore

If youve ever felt like you're doing everything right but still attracting emotionally unavailable men, or like you have to dim your brilliance just to be desirable... this episode is your wake-up call and your permission slip.

Inside, I break down:

• Why patriarchy has you stuck in overfunctioning and under-receiving

• How to stop settling for performative partnerships

• What it actually looks like to attract your Divine Equal Match

• And how to start rewriting your love story without shame, struggle, or self-betrayal

If you're ready to release the outdated rules, get clarity on what love should feel like, and step into the most grown, sacred, and liberating relationship of your life press play now.

Lets make love feel like freedom.

Subscribe, share, and leave a review if this episode shifts something in you.

Apply for a Consultation  candiceharperlovecoach.com/grown-liberated-love

This week on The Grown & Liberated Love Club, Coach Candice breaks down what it really means to design your relationship on purpose, no performance. 

Find out...

• Why being muted on a TikTok live hosted by BAMMAS (Bendover And Make Me A Sandwich dudes) actually inspired this topic. 

• How to stop trying to fit into love models that were never built for your liberation

• The truth about traditional relationships that no one says out loud.

• Why self-definition is the ultimate flex.

• The 3 steps to creating a grown, emotionally safe partnership that feels like freedom, not emotional captivity

And listen, if your nervous system is still recovering from struggle love, ghosting, and shape-shifting, you are not alone. But it is time to take your joy seriously.

If you're ready for your Divine Equal Match, someone who aligns with your values, respects your self-expression, and meets you without needing you to shrink, then apply for a private consultation today:

candiceharperlovecoach.com/grown-liberated-love

Because love rooted in liberation isnt just possible, its your birthright.

In this episode, we're unpacking where that cringe comes from and, more importantly, how redefining helpmeet through a liberated lens can bring you closer to your Divine Equal Match. No contortion. No self-betrayal. Just sacred partnership, rooted in reciprocity and power.

If youre ready to stop attracting assignments and finally align with your match, apply for a call with me here: candiceharperlovecoach.com/grown-liberated-love